Failure, aka ‘the non-success’. Failure comes into existence when expectations have not been met. We fail when we do not achieve our goals.

But who defines success? How explicit are these – sometimes unmatched – expectations? Does it make a difference if we fail others or ourselves? Is the latter the greatest failure of all, or is that perception just a construct in hyper individualistic societies?

Years ago, during the peak of digital startup culture, the phrase “fail fast, fail often” became pretty much a mantra. Repeated to exhaustion by – mostly male-dominated – teams in accelerators, incubators and other similar institutions, the slogan transmitted the idea that, no matter what, the desirable goal was to keep moving. Despite its obnoxious celebration of hustle, there is something about the expression we do like: it demystifies success while depicting failure as a necessary part of any creative process.This is important, as one of the most pernicious manifestations of failure is its link to anticipation. IOW, when we think – or worse, assume – that we are going to fail before we even start taking steps towards the desired goal. In these situations, one of the most common fears appears: the fear of failure. From a psychological viewpoint, fear of failure has the power to paralyse, preventing us from acting in ways we would like to and, ultimately, blocking us from getting to where we want to be. Where or why this fear originates is still unclear, but we do know that – oh, surprise! – fear of failure is way more prevalent in women than it is in men.

Be it as it may, from a futures thinking perspective, it is captivating to reflect on how this fear might influence our collective actions. What does it mean for societies to assume that no matter what steps, plans or strategies are implemented, success will (most likely) not be achieved? How does living in a post-everything era inform the design of long-term, cross-generational decisions? And, finally, might the loss of talent in – Western – politics and governments have something to do with this sorrowful mess?

As a team we often struggle with imposter syndrome. We feel anxious about underperforming and are scared of being judged for the way we express our thoughts or the often critical questions we raise in meetings. All four of us having been socialised as women and working as entrepreneurs in a rather brainy bubble, this should not come as a surprise.

Recently, we tested the Futures Literacy Lab on ourselves. It is a beautiful methodology to uncover assumptions that underlie desired futures, so that they can be questioned and deconstructed. The core idea is to get to the bottom of why one thinks in certain ways and to challenge those constructs.

Here are a few questions that arose:

• What would ‘dudes’ struggle with, if placed in our situation?
• What is preventing us from having a seat at the table(s)?
• How can we consciously seek validation where we truly need it, but otherwise be free from the pressures of external validation?

Validation – That was the key for us, the starting point for reframing failure and, thus, success. What and who do we want to be successful for? What role should external validation have in the definition of our own failure and success? Will our craving for being praised by others ever disappear?

We do not have the answers to these questions, but we do have a takeaway: next to giving our best and listening carefully to feedback provided by people we personally and professionally admire, we must honour ourselves by trusting our instincts and respecting our abilities. #yougogirl ;-)

…fuck-up nights are regularly held to celebrate reproduction ‘failures’.